The Air You Breathe
by Tuiteyfruity
Summary: A Homestuck Safe-Vore fic. Tiny!Stuck AU: everything went mostly according to canon until after the scratch, just John decided to travel on the meteor. Also it turns out trolls are about 11 to 12 times the size of humans! (rated T for Strong Language)


[L'aura Che Tu Respiri]

"youre in for a treat tonight," said Dave, as he alighted gracefully on Terezi's waiting palm, having flown up behind her. He looked up into her face.

Terezi sniffed at him curiously, but also confused. Her ink black hair hung a bit wild around her grey face. It was a sharp contrast to her burned, red eyes, which looked unseeing back at him. She didn't need them though, since she could smell and taste color. This was something she was very proud of, and something Dave planned to exploit. He had been working on her surprise for some time now.

"1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 MY TR34T! ; P" she said, sniffing at him.

"fine ok well a special treat!" said Dave, pushing her nose away.

She retaliated by flicking her teal tongue out just enough to barely lick him. Dave made no attempt to stop her.

"1T C4N'T BE TH4T SP3C14L 1F YOU 4R3N'T W34R1NG YOUR R3D ROB3S! THOUGH YOUR WH1T3 SU1T DO3S T4ST3 L1K3 V4N1LL4!"

"the extract or the icecream i got to know which"

"WHY : ?"

"science of course"

"OF COURS3!"

Clearly this required a more thorough taste, so she drew her tongue along against Dave's entire body, covering him in blue-green saliva. His pale face and fair hair, like always, tasted like the sweetest buttermilk frosting.

"1C3 CR34M!" she declared, chuckling a bit and licking her fangs. Each one was as long as Dave's forearm.

Without warning Dave switched into his felt suit, which caused Terezi to stop chuckling and to start sniffing him again.

"NOW YOU SM3LL L1K3 4 SOUR APPLE LOLLYPOP!"

"W41T. DO HUM4NS H4V3 LOLLYPOPS?"

"fuck yea" said Dave, who took off his shades and attempted to clean them.

"do i taste like one too?"

Terezi licked him again.

"Y3S!"

"Fanfuckingtastic"

"D4V3, 4R3 W3 T4ST3 T3ST1NG OUTF1TS?"

"yeah so pace yourself damn"

"J3GUS SOOO CONTROLL1NG. T1NY HUM4NS SHOULDN'T HAVE SUCH HUG3 4TTITUD3S" Terezi said, nuzzling Dave against her cheek, though he was still covered in her spit.

A moment later though he was dry again. Dave has selected "Four Aces Suited" from his sylladex, instantly changing outfits for a second time.

But he was only dry for a second, as Terezi dutifully licked him the moment she smelled the change.

"BL4CK L1COR1C3!" she informed him

"that one was obvious" said Dave.

"D1D YOU CHOOS3 ALL C4NDY FL4VORS FOR M3 D4V3?!"

"no you just think everything i fucking own tastes like god damn candy come on"

"YOUR S4RC4SSM 1S V3RY SOUR D4V3" sneered Terezi, "B3ST B3 C4AR3FUL WH3N US1NG 1T!" she snapped her teeth right next to him playfully.

"you cant smell my attitude" Dave countered.

"C4N TOO!"

She licked him again. She loved the licorice flavor so much.

Still she new the best was yet you come, her little matesprit was just teasing her with saving it for last. Terezi was patient with her little cool dude though. She waited through a lemonade yellow ensemble and a grape-juicy purple, but neither compared to his god robes.

Finally, after what seemed like forever to Terezi, Dave put on his God Tier outfit. The four different shades of red were nearly too much for her sensitive sense of smell. But the taste is what she really wanted. She placed Dave entirely onto her tongue. Terezi relished the flavors of cherry, apple, strawberry and plums that spread across her pallet. She was careful not to snag any part of his delectable attire on her fangs. That would be tragic.

Dave made sure not to struggle as he let Terezi slide him into her mouth. He was surprised as how much slobber she still had, even after using up so much on his previous outfits. Of course, he was grateful for it, and so was she. Without it Terezi would have had a hard time swallowing him, which is what she did next, in one strong gulp.

It was a bit of a strain regardless, but it was never unpleasant for either of them. She actually had to swallow a few times, before Dave entered the small fleshy chamber tucked in her chest.

The pulsing turquois walls were illuminated eerily by the light of Dave's iShades®, in an almost soothing fashion. He still hadn't gotten used to it, being swallowed by his girlfriend, even though this was the third time.

It was perfectly safe though. Trolls, as Terezi had informed Dave on their first date, had an organ called a "Crop". Like a storage organ near the stomach that kept food fresh until the troll desired to eat it. Terezi hinted that it could be used for other things; and then went on for hours about the history of smuggling using crops, and the legislacerators that were specially trained to catch people who try.

Dave had been opposed to it at first, being very doubtful, though Terezi pointed out that even if she was lying he wouldn't die, not permanently at least. After some pleading he finally gave in.

"4R3 YOU OK D4V3?" asked Terezi. She had not felt any movement for a while.

"the fuck kind of question is that"

"SORRY! BUT YOU W3R3 S1L3NT FOR A WH1L3! GOD!"

"i was just thinking to myself"

"4BOUT WH4T : ]"

"nevermind its not important"

"T3LL M3!"

"are we like the weirest couple ever?" said Dave thoughtfully, stroking one of the walls, making Terezi sigh.

"YOU AND 1 M4K3 TH3 MOST FUCK3D UP P41R 1N 4LL OF P4R4DOX SPACE. BUT 1F YOU 4R3 R3FF3R1NG TO TH3 F4CT TH4T 1 G3T TO 34T YOU, TH3N NO, W3 4R3 NOT"

"shit really"

"Y3P. 1 4M SUR3 TH4T K4RK4T 34TS JOHN"

"i thought they were, what was the idiotic word... moirails?"

"TH3Y 4R3!"

"remind me to give karkat a hard time about that" said Dave, checking to see if Karkat was online, he wasn't. too bad.

"C4R3FUL D4V3, YOU'R3 TR34D1NG THE K1SM3S1S L1N3 L1K3 A ROOK13 T1GHTROP3 W4LK3R"

"dont care, the quadrants are stupid, and you dont eat me you swallow me" he retorted, kicking out a bit at his confined space, his shoes making a small squelching sound against the flesh.

"S3M4NT1CS D4V3"

"whatever," Dave yawned.

"T1R3D 4LR34DY?" inquired Terezi.

"seems so. and it didnt take one of your infinitely long law lectures" said Dave.

"1'M GO1NG TO 1GNOR3 TH4T R3M4RK FOR NOW B3C4US3 1'M F33L1NG 4 B1T WORN OUT TOO," said Terezi, getting up to find someplace comfortable to sleep.

A small figure in a blue outfit was running as fast as his little legs could carry him down a corridor deep in the laboratory. Not far behind him was a troll, a troll who wasn't in the best mood. Not that this particular troll was ever in a good mood.

He was only running because it was more fun. Flying seemed like cheating, since he could fly very fast. It also drove Karkat even more mad. John knew he would be caught eventually, but only after he had a little fun and pranked his friend.

He had been paying careful attention to where he led Karkat. Just a few more corners.

After two more right turns John skidded to a halt and sat against the wall to wait for Karkat to catch up.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Karkat tripped over the wire John had set up and fell, face first, onto the floor. In addition to the loud thud there was a splat, as the trolls face landed in a carefully positioned pile of shaving cream. John had emptied almost every can in his wallet. It was so worth it.

Karkat was stunned, and in pain, as he cursed and wiped the foam from his face. He was going to kill that little piece of shit. He could hear John laughing hysterically from just around the next corner.

Silently he crawled forward.

John didn't notice the troll sneaking up on him, he was laughing to hard. He screamed, the kind of scream one makes on an amusement park ride, when a massive hand plucked him from his position on the floor. Then he saw Karkat's glaring face, which still had some cream on it and plenty in his hair, and started laughing again.

"THIS STUFF HAD BETTER WASH OUT OR YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET IT BIG TIME!" Karkat warned, using his free hand to rid himself of more of the offending stuff. "NEVERMIND, I DON'T REALLY GIVE A CRAP. I'M JUST GOING TO EAT YOU."

"dude you caught me fair and square," said John, still laughing "i am at your mercy!"

"I HAVE NO MERCY FOR TINY PRANKSTERS" said Karkat as he held John over his open mouth. But he was smiling a bit now, mischievously, and drooling red drool.

John hastily grabbed his long, wind-sock esq hood and wrapped it around one of his legs before he was slid onto Karkat's waiting tongue. He was drawn into the fanged, bright red cave that was the troll's mouth.

Karkat savored John's cake flavor for a short time, then swallowed. He waited until he felt John safely land in his crop before heading off to find a washroom. Just a few splashes of water and the cream came right off.

"YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK. FOR NOW."

"fine but that was a good prank right?!" said John as the small chamber rocked in time to Karkat's movements.

"NO. FUCK NO. YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BACK THERE," Karkat countered.

"you are not hurt! no harm done. that is a fundamental characteristic that every great prank must have!"

"JOHN, I SWEAR IF YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT YOUR STUPID MASTERY OF HUMAN JOKES-"

"relax, i was not going to," assured John, petting the "floor"

"GOOD." said Karkat, sighing as he felt the stroking.

Karkat was thankful that John stopped talking as he made his way to his makeshift respitblock and crawled onto a sleeping cot. He hoped that John had fallen asleep.

"psst, hey karkat!" hissed John, once Karkat had stopped moving around.

_FUCK_ though Karkat, resisting the urge to respond. Maybe John would just drop it.

"karkat"

No such luck.

"kaaaaaaaarkat!"

John lost his balance as Karkat shifted suddenly.

"HOLY SHIT JOHN CAN YOU SHUT YOUR FREAKISH WINDPIPE FOR A GOD DAMN FUCKING SECOND! HOW CAN YOUR FRAGILE HUMAN THINKPAN BE SO THICK? WHY DO ALWAYS THINK I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ONLY AFTER I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I DON'T? ON TOP OF THAT YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS WITHOUT ANY SOPOR SLIME?"

"no"

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T. YOU'RE A COMPLETE IDIOT! THE STUPIDEST HUMAN: THAT'S YOU! CONGRADULATIONS! I BET YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING FUNNY, KEEPING ME AWAKE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN! WHAT A GREAT IDEA, MESS WITH THE TROLL WHO ATE YOU WHILE HE'S TRYING TO SLEEP. DO YOU SEE HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS JOHN?! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO HATE YOU MORE THAN I ALREADY DO SO HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME SLEEP?!"

"ugh fine, i was only going to say goodnight"

"IT'S ALWAYS NIGHT HERE FUCKBREATH. THERE ARE NO STARS AROUND THAT WE EVER GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO FOR DAYLIGHT, AND, AS I HAVE SAID MANY TIMES: TROLLS ARE NOCTURNAL!"

"hey assface, now youre the one talking"

"UNBELIEVABLE. I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH"

"heh heh. night "

Karkat wasn't happy that John got the last word in but he was too tired to care. He lay back down on the cot, feeling john settle down too. Knowing that the human trusted him, almost unconditionally, was so calming.

It was a poor substitute for slime, but having John tucked away inside him lulled him to sleep. In fact, discounting the hour he was knocked unconscious, the times Karkat swallowed John were the only times he was able to sleep at all. After 2 weeks of not sleeping, it was something Karkat was grateful for, though he wasn't about to tell John that.

By the way John was now breathing, which Karkat could feel, the tiny god had already fallen asleep. This almost never happened, but it was only a minute later that Karkat also slipped into slumber.

[end part 1]


End file.
